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 Review of The Simpsons Ride @ Universal Studios Florida
1 Rating Posted by: praxis on 7/4/2009 1:26:00 PM
Greetings, theme park poindexters. It is I, special guest reviewer Homer J. Simpson. I realize that my family's ride replaces a much beloved one based on a movie starring Michael J. Fox --- it was the one where he was from the future, and he had to get back... I think it was Teen Wolf. Anyhow, the theming around this ride is heavy and entertaining. Why, nearby you can even get yourself a squishee. Mmmmm, squishees.... And it seems that all of Springfield has turned out in various light-hearted gags. If I knew anything about Judaism - and I don't - I would have laughed hard at the ad for Krusty's Funteractive Lithuanian Shtetl. It's enough to make you realize that you don't need to waste money on the overpriced DVD's those weasels at Fox keep peddling. There's even a cameo by some characters from The Mummy's Revenge... D'oh! Those are just my sisters-in-law. Then, after 4 hours ofwaiting in the Florida sun, sweating like Flanders at a Public Enemy concert, there's an actual ride. Someone is out to ruin the Simpsons' vacation - and it's not even me or the boy this time, but elitist funnyman Sideshow Bob. And they say I've got anger management issues. In 3-d animation sorta like a video game, rather than the tv show (so you know it's gotta be good if computers were involved!), you're off on a tour of Krustyland. The motion simulation is unbelievably cool! And it's not just the 34,000 blows to the head I've taken, or the 23 Duff beers I downed before writing this review, talking. Brainiacs like Lisa assure me that the movement is, lessee, I wrote down what she said... 'full of motion, perfectly synchorized with the video, detail-rich, and does a stunningly good job of making you feel like you're going downhill or even through corkscrew loops. Truly amazing!' Wow, my little girl sure is smart. I'm glad I wisely invested money for her college education with that nice Mr. Madoff. Fortunately, through ingenious plans and brave actions by myself, the Simpson manage to defeat Bob, and then I get to score with Maude Flanders. The Simpsons Ride is the best simulator in the world. You disagree? Why you little ---!!!!!!
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