Lightning Racer taught me a difficult lesson about myself: Im a snob.
Let me take a step back. From the first time I laid eyes on a picture of this thing, I was enthralled. The intricate layout, the return of the true wooden racer, the Millennium Flyer trains...I thought I was looking at the future of wooden roller coasters, one that would reinvigorate the forms popularity and introduce a whole new generation to the incomparable experience that only a wooden coaster can deliver. Judging by the reviews on this board and the reactions Ive heard in the station during the numerous times Ive ridden the coaster, it may have done just that. I should be happy. I should be writing, "See guys, didnt I tell you woooden coasters were the best." I should, and do, congratulate Hershey Park for making this sort of investment in a monumental wooden roller coaster at a time when other parks of its stature were rushing to join the hypercoaster arms race.
So why does this ride leave me feeling so empty? After much soul searching, I have to admit to myself that its because the kid who once prided himself on liking underappreciated, dated, or non-mainstream music has grown up into the guy who likes underappreciated, dated, or non-mainstream roller coasters. If the Cyclone is The Clash, then Lightening Racer is Greenday, a bland pop sellout of an infinitely superior form. While all of you are raising your daggers, understand that criticizing any wooden roller coaster, especially one of this scale and grandeur, is painful for me. I want to be philosophical about Lightening Racer. I want to believe that its a gateway coaster, one that will introduce the uninitiated to the wooden coaster experience and perhaps encourage them to seek out the true classics on their own. And it may do just that. But I fear that instead people will ride Lightening Racer, decide that wooden coasters are great, seek out the biggest one they can find, ride Son of Beast, and then (when they recover from their trauma) call for its head and go back to their B&Ms.
Okay, maybe Im not being fair. Lightening Racer is in no way as bad or insidious as Greenday. Considered on its own merits, Lightening Racer is a tremendous feat of design, engineering, and construction that will provide clean, wholesome entertaintment for those age 6 to 66. The trains negotiate the intricate track flawlessly. The transitions are smooth but often unexpected, and the ride maintains a pleasing (but never demanding, mind you) sensation of speed all the way to the break run. Take your most roller coaster resistant friend or relative on the Lightening Racer, and they will likely come off a fan.
As for me, I rode it over and over again trying to find something to love, but to no avail. The Millennium Flyers, equipped with the latest in modern, lawyer-sanctioned restraints, are still comfy, open, and mildy nostalgic. Racing the other train is fun, especially since the two only come together side-by-side for the final, always close sprint to the finish. The beauty of the ride makes for incomperable postcard shots. But for all that, the strongest feelings the ride invoked in me were disappointment and indifference. Honestly, I tried to pay attention, knowing that I would someday have to defend a review that would make a lot of people mad, but nothing about the course sticks out in my mind as particularly noteworthy. Oh thats right, it was smooth...very smooth. If this is the future of the wooden roller coaster, then this critic will continue to dwell in the past, happily listening to "Among the Living" by Anthrax as I drive to Kennywood for a ride on the Thunderbolt.<script src
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