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 Review of Voyage @ Holiday World
6 Rating Posted by: Timberman on 5/21/2006 11:47:00 PM
The outpouring of praise for The Voyage among the enthusiast community has become downright unseemly. Those whom we normally count upon for their depth of knowledge and experience and for their ability to separate cold truth from hype have written paeans to this roller coaster that would be more at home in the letter column of Tiger Beat than in the hard-bitten world of the well-traveled thrillseeker. "Ooohhhh, The Voyage! Its sooo dreamy!"

Well, if you think youre going to get the same sort of treacly fawning out of this critic, however modest his credentials, then Im sorry to inform you that you couldnt be more correct. I love this freaking ride. It instantly shot up to the number two spot on my all-time list, ahead of such timeless stalwarts as the Kennywood Thunderbolt and such New Jack breakouts as Hades and Boulder Dash. It has ferocious speed, relentless pacing, abundant airtime, epic length, and the best final act of any roller coaster I have ever ridden, period. The ride quality that emanates from the wooden track and steel superstructure is, in my experience, unsurpassed; it is dynamic enough to satisfy the hardcore wood loyalist and smooth enough to send the casual parkgoer away reeling but unmolested. I consider it a modern work of roller coaster genius that cedes nothing in intensity or guts to any coaster Ive ridden from any era. I marvel at the daring that went into The Voyage, but judging from the reactions I saw in the station during the eight hours hours I spent intermittantly riding this coaster, it was a gamble that is paying off handsomely. No one whom I observed appeared unhappy or unmoved by their ride.

Yet lest I be accused of being carried away by the cult of The Voyage, let me just tell you that this ride isnt perfect. Some things that people love about roller coasters can be found in abundance along the route of The Voyage, but not everything. At no time does this roller coaster launch into triple-digit speed from a dead stop, and it doesnt even break the 200-foot height barrier. Not even once does it travel upside down. You cant stand up on it, and it doesnt have strobe lights or anamitronics, even though you could find any number of places to install them along its more than 6,000 feet of track. The theming is mostly boat stuff, buoys, and fishing nets. I didnt see any fire, superheroes, or cartoon animals. The trains travel exclusively above the track, and they dont swing from side-to-side. Moreover, although it twists, turns, dives, and climbs the walls, Holiday World has been very unhelpful in its refusal to name these elements. I mean come on, we all know what a hammerhead and Immelman are, cant you tell us what happens during that last quarter mile of track?

So, obviously, Ive thought this all through. Im not just having an emotional reaction to the fact that on some rides my thighs had more contact on the opening hills with the lap bar than my ass did with the seat. That the ride kicks into into its highest gear AFTER the break run isnt clouding my judgment. The lack of any calm moment once the train disengages from the lift chain cannot perturb my disinterested assessment. And if at any time I was momentarily alarmed by the speed of this ride or experienced any exhaustion and dry mouth by the end of its course, such effects quickly dissipated and did not allow me to forget The Gravity Groups inexplicable omission of a helix from the layout.

So yeah, I liked it, but you cant say I didnt warn you that it doesnt make julienne potatoes or that its hardly doing anything to bring down the price of gas or to resolve the vexing contradictions in Americas immigration policy. And, yes, I probably would have brought that double-wide trailer in Spencer County Indiana even if this thing had never been built. Only I decide what I like and do not like, and Ive decided not to dislike this coaster in spite of the flaws which I hav
 

Review Comments

adriahna on 5/22/2006 8:13:50 AM said:
I love it - your reviews never disappoint, Timber. Im dying to get to this park...
CoastrGlxy on 5/22/2006 9:11:00 AM said:
Looks like Ill have to spring for that marriage counselor after all. I was sure Voyage could save my marriage. Ah, well. It still sounds like its worth the trip out to HW. Very entertaining review!
hrrytraver on 5/22/2006 1:23:38 PM said:
unique review. a bit of a departure from your previous reviews, though i cant quite put my finger on how. somewhere in the middle is a complex ironic discourse, but im not 100% on who or what is being skewered! very amusing and kudos to you for providing some tin roof sundae amongst a bevy of vanilla reviews! cheers, timberman.
RCGenius on 5/22/2006 8:15:27 PM said:
Stupendous review Timberman. That was the best coaster review Ive ever read in my life. You nailed the hammer right in the head with all of your vital points about the Voyage. Im glad that you had a great ride on it, but I really respect you for how you were considering all of the negative things first, but decided to just say that you love your experience anyway. You really put a lot of thought into this review. I can tell. If you keep making more reviews like this one, Ill definitely leave you great compliments for every coaster review you make. Your overall description of Voyages really making me go crazy about when Ill be able to go to Holiday World.
metal420 on 6/30/2006 8:45:35 PM said:
Great review Timber- do you plan on riding El Toro anytime soon?
Timberman on 6/30/2006 10:56:49 PM said:
To be honest, I wasnt that jazzed about El Toro at first, because Im more into the old school flavor. The more I read about, however, the more I want to ride it. Hopefully, Ill get there by the end of the season, but Im pretty jammed up with work and responsibility this summer.
PhantomNik on 7/20/2007 11:01:16 AM said:
Timberman, this is why you are in the elite of the elite when it comes to writing reviews!! This review was nothing short of incredible, and not only was it the best review Ive ever read, it was easily the most entertaining! Kudos to you sir, kudos!
ginzo on 7/20/2007 12:10:56 PM said:
Yeah, Timbers clearly writes the best reviews here, even though he comes across as the Uncle Rico of coasters. "Back in 82 the Cyclone could..."
Timberman on 7/20/2007 8:20:26 PM said:
As always, thanks for the comments, folks, and thanks for reading.


With respect to Ginsus more cutting remarks, am I to blame that my salad days happened to coincide with the rise and fall of some of historys greatest roller coasters? Shall I not remark on this coincidence of history and timing? I am not the author of these events, I merely chronicle them for the benefit of those who will someday peer curiously at whatever historical references of the Phoenix and Cyclone have survived the Righteous Purge and who will marvel that earlier generations were permitted to subject themselves to such risks and frivolity with no obvious benefit to The Beloved Leader and The Great Commonwealth, by Whom all things are provided and toward Whom all worthy effort is directed.


Be of good cheer, Ginsu, my short-term memory is nearly gone, and my long-term recollection cannot be far behind. I am blasted and buffeted by the ravages of time, and my days grow short upon the earth. My frame bows under the weight of my recollections and the innumerable insults visited upon it by pre-CAD roller coasters with their hellish tracking, murderous transitions, spine-twisting G forces, and so-called restraints that nevertheless allowed unregulated movement. In due time my voice will be silenced, gone as the forgotten sound of chain dogs ascending the lift hills of the obsolete relics long-since bulldozed to make way for the sterile habitations where humanity will have by then retreated, the better to isolate themselves from any reminder of that time when wood and steel could punish the mortal coil so that the human spirit might soar.


Incidentally, whos Uncle Rico?

ginzo on 7/20/2007 9:04:33 PM said:
Uncle Rico is a character from Napoleon Dynamite who pretty much lives in 1982. Thats all he talks about.

Actually, I dont think youre all that much older than I am. I turn 30 in just a few months.

Should I expect my body to deteriorate in proportion to my spirit being crushed by the ravages of time and the measureless weight of the world, like so many uncared for CCI woodies with Gerstlauer trains and maintenance budgets smaller than the allowances of many teenagers in more affluent suburbs?

You wouldnt happen to be a fan of HST? I detect a touch of his influence in your prose. Maybe not though.
Timberman on 7/20/2007 9:33:13 PM said:
I share HSTs affinity for firearms, but I think he took the easy way out. I was really pretty disappointed in him when all was said and done. "Fear and Loathing at Six Flags Kentucky Kingdom" does have a nice ring to it, though. Maybe Ill get to write that trip report before its all over.


What are you going to study when you go back to school?

ginzo on 7/20/2007 10:11:37 PM said:
There are rumors that HST had some kind of terminal illness, and thats why he snuffed it. I really enjoyed his exaggerated, bombastic writing style. Theres no imitating that. A professor I once had knew him from when he lived in Aspen. Essentially, HST was a mess IRL. But, thats not exactly a big secret.

If all goes well with the admissions process, Ill be studying medicine next year. Im tired of being on the wrong side of the fence on that. OK, thats a big lie. My real motivations are more appropriately suited to the trade.

Timberman on 7/21/2007 6:11:51 PM said:
Good luck, ginzo. One of my wifes good friends went back to school to study medicine at your age, and she loves it. Until then, she worked as a stage hand for live peformances in NYC and had no prior medical training. I think she took about two additional years of college (she already had an undergraduate degree) and then got admitted to med school.
ginzo on 7/21/2007 9:58:38 PM said:
Thanks Chief! Im pretty sure Ive got it bagged. Ive worked insanely hard to become a competitive applicant.

Yeah, the med schools like the non-traditional applicants like me and your wifes pal, provided that they are high caliber types. Despite all the nonsense in health care, physicians still have among the highest levels of job satisfaction around. I have met very few doctors who are unhappy with their work, even if they are overworked and make less than they did a few years ago.
Animan1 on 7/3/2008 9:38:16 PM said:
Quite possibly the best review I've ever read, period, Timber. Great job...the fact that you managed to clearly indicate your level of enthusiasm while discussing virtually nothing of the details of the coaster...amazing.
Timberman on 7/4/2008 12:17:09 PM said:
Thanks, Animan1. Sometimes I describe a ride in a review, and sometimes I describe how I reacted to it. So much has been written about the technical aspectis of Voyage that I figured I'd go with the subjective approach this time. I haven't ridden Voyage this year (yet), but I still consider it the greatest ride built during my lifetime.
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