Timberman
Posts: 845
Registered: 9/21/2004
Rank: Gold Critic
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 11/3/2008 11:25:33 PM
I'.ve occasionally had some less less-than-kind things to say about the Six Six Six Flags corporate edifice, but the truth is that I usually manage to enjoy its parks. This is especially true when both my expectations and expenses are kept low, as was the case on Saturday when the Timber clan visited the company'.s current showcase, Great Adventure. For the cost of parking and two gallons of Jersey'.s blessedly cheap petrol ($2.15/gal.!), we enjoyed a couple of dependably enjoyable roller coasters and several hours of tolerably wholesome family fun. This was only the second (and last) of our season pass trips this year, but at less than $50, the passes were still a good deal.
We arrived at about 1:15 p.m. to relatively light crowds. Within less than 30 minutes of clearing the metal detector, I was in the back seat of El Toro having my legs squashed to a four-inch thickness by the vice-like grip of the ride'.s restraints. As before, I found myself underwhelmed by the ride. Nevertheless, I disembarked and was back in the station less than 30 minutes later. Unfortunately, about 30 riders were crammed into the deceptively long front-seat queue, so I waited some 45 more minutes before getting into the front seat. Here, with a less-brutal stapling, the ride once again came alive. Say what you will, but for me, El Toro is most definitely a front-seat roller coaster. With the lap bar pressed into my midsection with merely firm force, as opposed to the usual crushing force, I also came to appreciate just how powerful the ride is, as I slid all over the car. I would have enjoyed this were it not for my fear that I would be bounced onto the little protruberance at the front of the unpadded seat, which no doubt would have caused a premature prostectomy. With trains that allowed for some actual non-injurious airtime, El Toro would easily be a Top 10 roller coaster for me. In its current incarnation, however, it'.s still too constricting for my tastes.
My only other coaster ride was a back seat cruise on the calm seas of Nitro, which was as sublime and enjoyable as ever. We had been hoping to squeeze in a cycle on Kingda Ka, but it was running only sporadically, and this was more of a family outing than an opportunity for Dad to indulge his coaster OCD. T2 also passed up Great Adventure'.s junior coaster offerings but eagerly partook of the new Wiggles'. World. While I'.m still uncomfortable with a band that aims to be the Village People of the preschool set, I can'.t deny the marketing big brains at Six Flags know how to cater to the tastes of modern four-year-olds. Had we not pulled him away, T2 probably could have spent as many hours playing in the environs of these ambiguously threatening Aussies as his dad could have spent riding roller coasters.
Next was the skyride, a Timber family favorite. While waiting in line, we amused ourselves by coming up with alternate endings for the pre-recorded greeting repeated ad naseum: ".Welcome to the skyride, where you will traverse many acres of beautiful land.". T2'.s entries somewhat predictably tended to offer riders the chance to traverse various manner of ".poopy butts,". as the family tradition of scatological humor starts early and runs deep.
After that, T2 suprised both his mother and me by acceding to a turn on the Edwards AFB Jump Tower, which I prefer to think of as the Great Gasp, Yankee Edition. Although he had a moment of regret at 250 feet, we all came away unscathed, and he admitted it was a good time when we were safely back on terra firma.
Tragically, I missed my shot at closing out the 2008 season on Kinda Ka, but all in all it was still a good day. El Toro had two trains running, or rather stacking, and while the station crew'.s lethargy was galling, the operations still seemed smoother than during my last trip in 2006. The obligatory fat-guy-who-holds-up-the-dispatch-for-five- minutes made his usual appearance, to the usual smart-ass commentary of the waiting riders, one of whom dubbed El Toro, Richard Simmons: The Ride. Not only did I not fight any line jumpers this trip, I didn'.t even notice any. My unbelieving eyes did behold security removing one guy from the El Toro queue, however, leading me to believe that he was actually an Al Queda infiltrator and that his escorts were actually CIA operators. Either that, or the apprehending officer was the Walker Texas Ranger of the Great Adventure PD. Over at Nitro, three trains were keeping the line moving swiftly, and the station attendants were even able to drum up some enthusiasm on the penultimate day of operations on one of the busiest rides at one of America'.s busiest theme parks. The overall atmosphere of the park was the best I'.ve seen it for the last few years, which is to say that even the SWAT ninja stationed outside the gates had left his assault rifle stowed in the truck.
For about the price of a trip to the local cinemaplex, a seaon pass excursion to Great Adventure is still a great bargain. I was presently surprised to see that the chain'.s flagship location is holding up acceptably well, while now offering additional inducements to the family crowd with its expanded kids'. section. Put it all together, and it'.s an offer from New Jersey offer I still can'.t refuse.
Message updated 11/4/2008 7:51:21 PM by Timberman
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